Thursday, December 30, 2004

2004 In Review

Another year has passed by, so it's time to reflect, and time to make plans for the new year.

What did 2004 mean to me? It certainly wasn't a particularly good year. Globally, the situation in Iraq went from bad to worse with US losing control day by day; hundreds died in the Madrid train bombing; Japan and the US both experienced record numbers of typhoons/hurricanes and suffered severe damage; WTO predicted a bird-flu pandemic; a major earthquake hit northern Japan, leaving tens of thousands seeking shelter in school gyms. To top it all off, during the Christmas holiday season, a disastrous tsunami hit southern Asia, resulting in death tolls in the 100,000 range and rising.

On the personal front, although given more and more responsibilities at work, I have come to realize undeniably that I am not and will never be interested in what I am doing now as a profession. However, without knowing what I want to do, or what will make me feel happy and fulfilled, I am reluctant to let go of the one safety net - my job, and also the lifestyle that my paycheck allows me to lead . I suppose I should be thankful that Jason, Libby and I are all healthy, and we can all count on each other. I am grateful for that, but can you blame me for wanting a purpose in life, for wanting to find my true calling? My dad has always said that you need to look at your job as means to an end, it provides you with the financial basis you need to do what you truly enjoy. Maybe in reality it's true in most people's cases. But is it too much of a luxury to want to love what you do for a living?

Speaking of my dad, 2004 is definitely a bad year for him. He went from a highly energetic person who loves his job as a senior software developer to being bed-ridden, unable to work, and for a short while, not even able to carry out simple daily activities such as feeding himself. Countless tests and doctor visits later, the true cause of his mysterious illness is still not found. He now sees a accupuncturist twice a week and a powder mix of six venomous insects seemed to have put him on the right track to recovery. I hope 2005 will be a better year for him and he can make a full recovery.

So what's my new year's resolution for 2005?
1. I will try my very best to go to the gym three times a week.
2. I will try to be less wound-up and learn to relax once in a while
3. I will be more patient and not get irritated when Japanese drivers do stupid things to piss me off
4. I will play with Libby until she's had enough no matter how tired I am when I get home or how rushed I am to get dinner started
5. If 2005 is the year we leave Japan, we will take a driving trip to Hokkaido before leaving
6. I will plan at least one dinner party for eight people so our effort to haul back our dining table from Shanghai is not completely wasted7. And we will visit Tibet!

2 comments:

Hsin said...

Girlfriend, you aren't alone with not enjoying what you do. Most people don't care for what they do for a living. I certainly didn't with my old job. Of course, now, I may have gotten in over my head - I love what I do, but I don't get any time out, plus, I have no income...

Also, didn't realise your dad was ill. Sounds serious - is he taking it okay?

Lynn said...

He's come to terms with it, I think, and is taking things really slow.